August Update 2014

Hey everyone, just stopped by to drop you a line. This is your August 2014 update. 

Whats New?

The Transient, Flash Fiction 40+1: New Mexican Bread Aisle get’s an update, Phil goes to school, name embrace, My Mind’s Abyss Book #2

The Transient: The story based on my homeless experience just got a little closer to coming out. I just sent out for a second edition proof and should be getting it back soon. I’ll go through the book, edit it again, and finish the cover and hopefully soon after that I’ll release it. I’d be interested in sending out some advanced copies to some loyal readers if they’d be willing to reply to me with some honest feedback about the book. Contact me on Twitter if interested. @Volatalistic

Flash Fiction 40+1: New Mexican Bread Aisle becomes Flash Fiction 40 and will no longer be part of an ongoing series of flash fiction books. I did this for a few reasons–ever notice that sometimes I’m too damn complicated? The book will be getting a new, hopefully better cover than the one it currently has, and some much needed changes and updates. The title change will hopefully encourage more people to give the book a chance and understand that it’s flash fiction stories and not something related to Mexico?? When I wrote that book it was in a short amount of time after I wrote My Mind’s Abyss and I was on the same binge of trying to write stuff quickly, so as a result there was a ton of errors. I’ve been learning and practicing writing more and more ever since my first novel and feel that I’m getting better at it. So, I decided because I actually like that book, it deserves better than what I gave it. I’ve been going through each of the stories and rewording and editing and slightly changing them up a bit in order to fine tune them and make them more reader-friendly. The ebook version will be released within a week of the paperback version, but will also feature four new images added to the stories.

Phil Goes to School: Yep, it’s true. I’m in school, again, and I’m currently enrolled in an EMT program. I’m pretty stoked about it and one week of school is done, only. whoever knows how many more. 

Name Embrace: Volatalistic, Vol-uh-tah-lis-tic. Volatalistic. What, you can’t pronounce or spell the made-up word? Really? Yeah, okay. So yeah, I’m Phil Volatile. On all my books I’ve put Volatalistic Phil, in hopes to use Volatalistic as a label of sorts, but it seems like it causes grief. I meet people who can’t pronounce or spell it–and I don’t blame them–but I think I should make things easier. In search engine keywords I see that people are trying to find me too, but they misspell the word. So, as a result of all of this (and the huge amount of cover space it takes up) I’ve decided to start branding my books with my author name: Phil Volatile. This doesn’t mean I’ll be changing previous books, just the books moving forward (this includes Flash Fiction 40). 

My Mind’s Abyss book #2: (My Mind’s Abyss: Aftermath (The Art of Dying) I’m still… working… on… it… and it’s proving to be more difficult than I thought. The whole book is there and I’m scared to release it. I’m afraid it won’t hold up. It’s not written in the kamikaze style that the first book was written in and I’m afraid people won’t like it. I feel like maybe it’s too long. It’s over 300 pages and that’s frightening for me. I’ll keep you posted about it.

 

Much Love and thanks for reading! You’re all hall of fame to me!

Thank you to everyone who continues to love and support me! Thank you God! Thank you to Amazon and every Amazon market and their corresponding countries. We’re worldwide and my books have made it to: Canada, Mexico, Sweden, Japan, Australia, Germany, France, Spain, Italy, India, Brazil, United Kingdom.

❤

Phil Volatile

Summer Dress

 

Sitting across the patio

is a seedless sunflower

wearing a thin summer dress

Her nectar is so sweet that

all the bees stare, hoping

for a chance to pollinate

 

I’d fly over beside her,

and lifting her skirt,

I’d spread her petals and

force I’d exert

 

But once done, I’d

smell my fingers and

walk away, and she’d

mean nothing to me,

and I’d still feel

alone, and

sterile

 

© Volatalistic Phil 2013, Crushed Black Velvet

My Mirror

 

There’s a gnat flying

around in the depths of

my stomach, trying

hard not to be shit

out the other side,

and his wings

are fueled by

hopes and dreams

 

And all the rejections

and heartaches and

emotional pains I’ve

had to swallow,

comes down like a

hail storm of broken

glass for the only

part of me left that

still feels like it’s flying

 

But I can’t stop

chewing on my mirror

because it tastes like

nothing I’ve ever had

before, and it keeps me

going back for seconds

 

© Copyright Volatalistic Phil 2013, Crushed Black Velvet

3 years sober & update

Okay…so I know it’s been forever since I’ve posted a blog. I know, shame on me right? Oi. Friends, life doesn’t stop. Everything keeps moving and lately I’m feeling so low. I’m feeling so small and shit going on lately, a relationship ending, bullshit with cops…I just it’s been a journey these past few months.

I left because they valued this shit more than me and their own life

On the 11th of May, like every Mother’s Day, I was sober again. This time friends, it’s been three years. Does it feel different? Yeah, I guess. I still miss my vices at times, but I know that it’s nonsense and is a way to die and not live. I just choose not to be that person anymore. It gets lonely, like now, I feel so alone and lonely. I have friends and what not, but sometimes I think about the substances and how they were comforting, but I know I’m just telling myself lies. It’s like when you get out of a toxic relationship (which I’ve recently just done) you make up excuses for the relationship and you glamorize it and you highlight all the good parts. The bottom line: —————->>> Clean & sober is the only way to be.

Enough of the sad shit, right?

I just bought a new motorcycle–a 2007 Honda Shadow VT1100. She’s so pretty and is sooo much fun to ride. By the grace of God I was able to pull it off and my payments are pretty low, which is great for a starving artist like myself. (I just picked up a second job as a waiter, aside from getting tips, the best part is–they feed you!)

I went shopping!

Meet the twins!

Road trip to see mom!

Made it!

Does my balaclava make me look creepy or like a ninja or both?

I had this for lunch today!

Oh, & i’ve got a new fucking book out if anyone’s interested!

White Wedding Lies, and Discontent: An American Love Story on Amazon.

❤

Phil Volatile

My Mind’s Abyss (Suicide Edition) Free on Kindle!

Hey everyone in preparation for the sequel that’s soon to be released, and as a Thanksgiving / early Christmas gift, My Mind’s Abyss (Suicide Edition) is FREE on Amazon #Kindle from 11/22/13 until 11/26/13. You don’t need a kindle to download it–just the #Amazon Kindle app!

This is HUGE for me right now and I NEED YOUR SUPPORT! Tell you friends! Tell your mom and dad! Tell people on your Facebook, your Twitter, your Google+, Pinterest and etc!

Here’s what to do:

1.) Go to: http://www.amazon.com/Minds-Abyss-Suicide-Book-Recovery-ebook/dp/B00EY363QO/ and download a copy of it!

2.) Tell your friends!

3.) Read it!

This is an international freebie! This means that the fine people of: the United States, #Canada, #Germany, #Italy, #India, #Spain, #France, the United Kingdom, #Mexico, #Japan, #Brazil, and #Australia can go to their respective Amazon website and download a copy free of charge!

If you don’t spread the word, Godzilla might kick your ass.

Much <3,

-Phil Volatile

Baby, We Tried

Baby, We Tried

Against better ideas and the empirical odds,
we were scathed and drifted the naked halls
Destined for something, to find an answer,
a soft cry, a reason why, for something to try
We found each other—you and I

As quiet as the soot black gorgeous midnight skies,
and hidden deep behind the safety of the palisades
that were lined with decorative crystal vines—
Like a bloodhound, you sniffed on by,
and lit up a trail of smoke, like an S.O.S. cry

Denying the diva of a new way,
I cut across the darkened freeway
I lit flares to defy the empty skies,
deep into late hours of hazy red eyes

This cowboy went to the saloon,
singing and marching to his own tune,
already drunk and not even noon
Make way for me, make some room

A mind’s infected screams and cries—
Bone rot, organs of blight; I continued,
and drank me and my wallet dry
You continued to reach for the stars,
and you continued your carpet ride
Stole parts of me; lost you in those nights

Our ignorance was never considered
a given, nor a try for admittance,
and we didn’t, we didn’t, we didn’t
Instead, it was through our reluctance
that we discovered our bleeding wounds

We couldn’t be found in consonants,
because we were laying in vowels,
but mostly just ‘u’ and ‘i’
and we both know, love,
we know the reasons ‘y’
But at least we can reflect
on what was, and say we tried

 

© 2012 Volatalistic Phil, Jet Lag

The Drug of You

The Drug of You

If poetry had a taste,
it’d taste like you;
sweet and sour,
but still sticky like glue
And if you were a pill for popping,
you’d be blue;
because you bring me up,
and let me down used, not abused
I’d get a prescription for
60 MG of I don’t hate you,
and stay limp,
staring like a statue
But you can’t be any of those;
yours is from a needle not meant for tattoos,
and mine is sold in bars
from 11 am ‘til 2
And on street corners,
bought with I.O.U.’s;
writing poems;
being dealt a deuce;
you, me, and drug abuse

 

© 2012 Volatalistic Phil, White Wedding Lies, and Discontent: An American Love Story