My Mind’s Abyss (Suicide Edition) Free on Kindle!

mmase_coverHey everyone in preparation for the sequel that’s soon to be released, and as a Thanksgiving / early Christmas gift, My Mind’s Abyss (Suicide Edition) is FREE on Amazon #Kindle from 11/22/13 until 11/26/13. You don’t need a kindle to download it–just the #Amazon Kindle app!

This is HUGE for me right now and I NEED YOUR SUPPORT! Tell you friends! Tell your mom and dad! Tell people on your Facebook, your Twitter, your Google+, Pinterest and etc!

Here’s what to do:

1.) Go to: and download a copy of it!

2.) Tell your friends!

3.) Read it!

This is an international freebie! This means that the fine people of: the United States, #Canada, #Germany, #Italy, #India, #Spain, #France, the United Kingdom, #Mexico, #Japan, #Brazil, and #Australia can go to their respective Amazon website and download a copy free of charge!

If you don’t spread the word, Godzilla might kick your ass.


Much <3,

-Phil Volatile


Some updates & some poems

Hello everyone, it’s been eons since I’ve written anything here. You all have Crystal of “Dreams Dissolve” to thank–she keeps writing stuff on her blog and it has somehow made me feel inadequate and now I’m posting something.

Quick updates and some poems for you beautiful people.


–I’ve been working two jobs now for a year and I don’t know how else not to hustle, but on the brighter side of things, I’m picking up another gig, so I’m thinking about growing a business, in seeing how I have a couple of contracts now.  I also went to an interview for a new job where I’ll be in a position to help people, and I’m fairly certain I have the job. I did my pee test and other stuff required and I think everything has gone well. It is a little unsettling because I’ve been used to getting shit on for so long that now that things are going my way, I don’t know what to expect or how to react–but I’m still hopeful.

–My Mind’s Abyss is back out and is called My Mind’s Abyss: Suicide Edition and it includes just a hair more than the original book did, but also includes photographs! Please get a copy, be it an e-book copy or a paperback, please, it would really help to recoup some of the costs of the promotions I’ve been running and all the copies I’ve been sending out, trying to get the buzz going. If you have a book blog and you review books, I’d be honored if you’d care to review my book and or do an interview, up to you though, I won’t beg and even running a promotion for the book has made me feel bad, like I’m “trying too hard” or something.

–Sequel to My Mind’s Abyss is finished and I’m putting the final editing touches on it. It is called My Mind’s Abyss: Aftermath and it deals with the world of post-addiction; the zombie feeling, feelings of hopelessness, the anger at yourself and the world, what a life without substance abuse looks like, entering into relationships, all mixed with fresh new stories and your fill of love, comedy, and pain! The new book has been written to pick up where book #1 left off, but has been written in such a way that it’s not necessary to read the first one (in case you’re not a fan of my Kamikazi, almost bop-prosody, stream of consciousness, experimental fiction writing. The new book is set in a different tone and is much less chaotic and I feel that it flows “better” and is “prettier” writing). Book #2 weighs 115,000  words (twice the size of book #1) and is 440 pages in print. I’m thinking about releasing it in December–will keep you posted.

–Almost finished with another novel The Transient that deals with my homeless experience and it’s set in Albuquerque, NM (yeah, where Breaking Bad was). No release date conceivable yet. I’ve finished up with a second unreleased poetry book White Wedding Lies, and Discontent: An American Love Story and it has a very special foreword from Raegan Butcher! No release date yet, but am hoping for March, but I first have to release Jet Lag, which I’m hoping to release in November.

Thank you for bearing with me through all the updates, and now some poems. Much Love ❤ -Phil


Doctor Office

Time for a physical;
new job requires it
I wait in a pasty white
room while a fluorescent
light above me hums
like a nest full of
pissed off hornets

Nothing to do but
stare blankly at
the walls and put
on the parachute
shorts a nurse
gave me

Doctor enters & listens
to my breathing—
that’s the extent
of my physical

She tells me “only
eat raw vegetables
and fruit, but no
more than three
servings the size
of a tennis ball,
a day”
& says what else I
shouldn’t do or eat

By some far cry
of the imagination
I should weigh 140lbs
“according to the book”
& I wonder what the
hell else that book
has to say, about life,
about anything

Beware of the
people who can’t
tell you how to
live, but know
exactly how not
to live


Screaming in Space

My brother got out
of jail to serve
another sentence
with an abusive
and psychotic
girlfriend, who
started off
sweet and loving

And in January
his ankle bracelet
comes off
and he’ll be
moving back
here, back home
to the Zia

But for now,
his world
is a
one giant
mass of consumption,
of depression,
of hopelessness
and feelings
of uselessness,
as he screams
into space,
a sound

Deck the halls with…

Free paperback books, fa la la la la, la–la-la–la! In however you choose to celebrate the holidays, I want to wish you a Merry Christmas, a happy New Year, a happy Hanukkah, and a happy Kwanzaa. And in my ignorance, for not being more familiar with other ways to celebrate, I want to wish you the best in however you choose to celebrate your special day(s).

As part of this celebration, the ebook version of My Mind’s Abyss will be available FREE of charge on AMAZON, December 23, 24, and 25th, 2011. In addition to this free giveaway, I am giving away three AUTOGRAPHED copies of My Mind’s Abyss on Goodreads. Why only three copies? I like the number three, but most importantly, it is the rareness of these three. These three books are one of the first 25 ever printed. 21 of those books are in circulation. What makes these three copies so much more special is that after the first run of 25 books, I altered the back cover, forever making them different from the rest of the books that are being produced and purchased.

Enter for your chance to win, below!


Goodreads Book Giveaway

My Mind's Abyss by Volatalistic Phil

My Mind’s Abyss

by Volatalistic Phil

Giveaway ends January 10, 2012.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win

My Mind’s Abyss FREE on 12/18/2011! (Tomorrow)

My Mind's Abyss

Hello everyone! I just wanted to happily announce that my book, My Mind’s Abyss, (ebook) will be free tomorrow on I ask that should you decide to grace me with the opportunity to entertain you, that if you could find it in you to please leave a review for the book. The review will help in letting people know what you thought about my book (good or bad, but hopefully good!) and help to attract more people to share the book with.

My Mind’s Abyss(Transgressional Fiction) Have you ever wondered what the life of an addict was like? Take a journey with one troubled person into the unknown. Experience the many ups and downs of life while on a path towards enlightenment. Could there be more to life than just sex, drugs, crime and parties? Dive into the abyss with the life of an alcoholic and enjoy a non-stop, humorous, thrill ride that will stun you. Take a look through the eyes of a troubled person that decided to face reality and get sober. Contained is a raw story with some sometimes harsh opinions and views.

So to recap, tomorrow on 12/18/2011, My Mind’s Abyss will be a FREE Amazon Kindle ebook. Be sure and tell your friends, please! Thank you for your time and the opportunity to entertain you. Get your copy for free at Amazon Tomorrow!

Much Love,
Volatalistic Phil

Volatalistic Phil’s Newspaper Interview

Interview with the college newspaper the CNM Chronicle. Below is the article taken from their website, with a correction to the spelling of my name. To view the article on their website go here: Traveling into the Abyss, by Nick Christan, CNM Chronicle, November 22, 2011

CNM student "Volatalistic Phil" with his newly published book "My Minds Abyss." Photo Illustration by Nick Christian.

“Volatalistic Phil,” is the pen name of a CNM student who recently released his first book, “My Mind’s Abyss.” “It’s a fiction book that I wrote with the intent to possibly inspire change, or to have people examine their own lives towards enlightenment,” said the author.

As a recovering alcoholic, Volatalistic Phil said a lot of his inspira­tion for the book came from the time prior to his sobriety.

Writing a book like this, according to Volatalistic Phil, was the best way for him to convey his message.

“I look at it as a message in time,” said Volatalistic Phil. “As long as this planet is still around, or there is some form of print of this available, then that message can carry throughout time.”

He said the novel follows a person throughout portions of their life. The book starts with an abusive childhood, and evolves into their young adulthood, highlighting their travels in life, accord­ing to Volatalistic Phil. There are even periods with significant time shifts or schizophrenic dimensions, Volatalistic Phil said.

“There are some big gaps,” said Volatalistic Phil. “This is the first of two books. In the second book there will be things covered and the fog will be lifted.”

The second book will be called “Relapse,” according to the author. The book, which is still being written, is planned by Volatalistic Phil to be ready for February. He said he is currently working on a book of short stories in addition to “Relapse.”

The book of about 50 short stories will have ranging topics, and should be released next month, said the author.

The process of Volatalistic Phil

Writing the book was tough in the beginning, Volatalistic Phil said. When he first sat down to write, he said he did it with a pencil and paper.

“It came that way, and I wrote a chapter,” Volatalistic Phil said. “After I examined it for a while, I just thought about it and let things brew.”

After a period of time, it got to the point where he could no longer write by hand, Volatalistic Phil said.

“The images and thoughts were coming to me too fast,” said Volatalistic Phil. “I can type a lot faster than I can hand write.”

It was challenging, according to Volatalistic Phil; the editing task was a time swallowing process he said.

“You change one thing, you’ve got to change five things,” said Volatalistic Phil. “It was trying; there were a lot of times in that process where I would work 16 hours a day. I would fuel up by coffee and a bowl of soup if I could get it in.”

He wouldn’t sleep much during the editing process, Volatalistic Phil said. The trials of writing, in addition to school, made the book an extensive process according to the author. He said it took a month for him to write.

Getting published

Finding a publisher was harder than he expected, said Volatalistic Phil. He said he pursued a lot of the legacy publishers, but the majority of them denied him, citing company policies of not accepting unsolicited work.

After seeing a lot of closed doors, the CNM student-turned-author said he decided to self-publish the novel. It was the quickest way for him to get what he wanted to say out there, said Volatalistic Phil.

The book can be purchased at in either paperback or e-book, at Barnes & Noble, and through Google as an e-reader. He said CNM students, faculty and staff can go to and put in the code AGB6DK5R for a two dollar discount on the book.

Life at CNM

Volatalistic Phil said he has been at CNM for two years and is a General Studies/English major. He said he is taking philosophy courses because he had an interest in becoming an attorney or politician and was told philosophy is good training for either of those fields.

But, during his time studying phi­losophy, he said he developed more of an interest in writing.

“I always put it off to ‘when I get a Bachelors, then I’ll decide if I pursue law school,’” said Volatalistic Phil. “But doing it this way would allow me to have a philosophy degree, which I think would be important to be a good writer.”

Volatalistic Phil said he likes CNM; the smaller class sizes and the staff are the plusses to the college according to the author.

“We’ve got a lot of highly educated people with doctorate degrees and I just think ‘wow, I’m having somebody that has a doctorate degree that’s teaching me at a really really low price,’” said Volatalistic Phil.

One teacher that has had an effect on him is Rebecca Aronson, accord­ing to the author. He said when he was deciding to put the book together he was lost and didn’t know what he was doing. He mentions Aronson in the acknowledgement section of “My Mind’s Abyss” because she was very open to what and how he wanted to write, according to Volatalistic Phil.

“She helped nurture the writing process and not tell me how to write,” said Volatalistic Phil. “She allowed me to be creative with it, which is a com­plete change in this new English class I’m taking; which is why I went back to her.”

Volatalistic Phil said he asked Aronson about setting up a book: he said he wanted to know how to set up paragraphs, how to convey transitions in time, and other questions.

“She provided me with guidance,” said Volatalistic Phil. “She pretty much gave me a basic outline: ‘add a couple paragraphs or you might not want to do that or you may want to use italics for this.’

“She told me ‘there are no set rules, write how you want to write,’” said Volatalistic Phil.

He also cited a philosophy instruc­tor Dr. William Murrell, political sci­ence instructor Richard Fox, and Mrs. Gonzales as professors who affected him.

After he is done at CNM, Volatalistic Phil said he plans to trans­fer to the University of New Mexico to pursue the English/Philosophy program.

Family, Future, and writing under a pen name

Born and raised for the most part in Albuquerque, Volatalistic Phil said he currently lives in Bosque Farms. He said he likes going to CNM and never considered going to UNM’s Valencia Campus. He said he really likes the environment and “couldn’t picture going anywhere else.”

The 26-year-old said he went to several high schools, but graduated from Deming high. He said his mother and father are very supportive of his writing.

Volatalistic Phil said there are many things he would like to accom­plish in his writing career, one of which was turning one of his books into a film.

“People could maybe enjoy it, if they’re not that keen on reading,” Volatalistic Phil said. In addition to having a film made, writing a bestseller was one of the goals of the young scribe. The financial reward wasn’t the biggest draw, according to Volatalistic Phil. He said he was more concerned with people enjoying what he wrote.

“I would love to leave a mark on history or time,” said Volatalistic Phil. “I would love to have somebody, years after I’m decomposing, even if no one ever knows about me and maybe it’s a small niche, know you existed.”

After he writes the second book, Volatalistic Phil said he is focusing the book after that on a post-apocalyptic world with some of the same concepts from his prior novels.

“If you read one book, and you read another: you’re going to catch on little tid-bits. You may see little character ref­erences or certain phrasings of things,” said the author.

Not willing to classify himself as purely a novelist, Volatalistic Phil said he considers himself a “tickle-my-fancy” writer.

“I want to try different things, if something comes along, then I’ll be interested in it,” Volatalistic Phil said. “I would like to experiment some with poetry, just because of how powerful it is, that’s why I’m writing this new book, the short stories.”

The pen name was important to Volatalistic Phil because he said it makes his work mysterious and takes the focus off of him.

“I feel almost like a different person when I’m writing,” said the author. “It’s not so much about me as it is about the writing.”

Bringing a pen name into life was another thing that he said was interest­ing to him. He talked about the differ­ent uses of pen names and he said he was intrigued by the stage name quality of pen names.

“I took volatile and I took nihilistic and combined them together,” said the author. “It may be representative of my writing style.”

Newspaper Interview