Some updates & some poems


Hello everyone, it’s been eons since I’ve written anything here. You all have Crystal of “Dreams Dissolve” to thank–she keeps writing stuff on her blog and it has somehow made me feel inadequate and now I’m posting something.

Quick updates and some poems for you beautiful people.

****UPDATES****

–I’ve been working two jobs now for a year and I don’t know how else not to hustle, but on the brighter side of things, I’m picking up another gig, so I’m thinking about growing a business, in seeing how I have a couple of contracts now.  I also went to an interview for a new job where I’ll be in a position to help people, and I’m fairly certain I have the job. I did my pee test and other stuff required and I think everything has gone well. It is a little unsettling because I’ve been used to getting shit on for so long that now that things are going my way, I don’t know what to expect or how to react–but I’m still hopeful.

–My Mind’s Abyss is back out and is called My Mind’s Abyss: Suicide Edition and it includes just a hair more than the original book did, but also includes photographs! Please get a copy, be it an e-book copy or a paperback, please, it would really help to recoup some of the costs of the promotions I’ve been running and all the copies I’ve been sending out, trying to get the buzz going. If you have a book blog and you review books, I’d be honored if you’d care to review my book and or do an interview, up to you though, I won’t beg and even running a promotion for the book has made me feel bad, like I’m “trying too hard” or something.

–Sequel to My Mind’s Abyss is finished and I’m putting the final editing touches on it. It is called My Mind’s Abyss: Aftermath and it deals with the world of post-addiction; the zombie feeling, feelings of hopelessness, the anger at yourself and the world, what a life without substance abuse looks like, entering into relationships, all mixed with fresh new stories and your fill of love, comedy, and pain! The new book has been written to pick up where book #1 left off, but has been written in such a way that it’s not necessary to read the first one (in case you’re not a fan of my Kamikazi, almost bop-prosody, stream of consciousness, experimental fiction writing. The new book is set in a different tone and is much less chaotic and I feel that it flows “better” and is “prettier” writing). Book #2 weighs 115,000  words (twice the size of book #1) and is 440 pages in print. I’m thinking about releasing it in December–will keep you posted.

–Almost finished with another novel The Transient that deals with my homeless experience and it’s set in Albuquerque, NM (yeah, where Breaking Bad was). No release date conceivable yet. I’ve finished up with a second unreleased poetry book White Wedding Lies, and Discontent: An American Love Story and it has a very special foreword from Raegan Butcher! No release date yet, but am hoping for March, but I first have to release Jet Lag, which I’m hoping to release in November.

Thank you for bearing with me through all the updates, and now some poems. Much Love ❤ -Phil

****POEMS****

Doctor Office

Time for a physical;
new job requires it
I wait in a pasty white
room while a fluorescent
light above me hums
like a nest full of
pissed off hornets

Nothing to do but
stare blankly at
the walls and put
on the parachute
shorts a nurse
gave me

Doctor enters & listens
to my breathing—
that’s the extent
of my physical

She tells me “only
eat raw vegetables
and fruit, but no
more than three
servings the size
of a tennis ball,
a day”
& says what else I
shouldn’t do or eat

By some far cry
of the imagination
I should weigh 140lbs
“according to the book”
& I wonder what the
hell else that book
has to say, about life,
about anything

Beware of the
people who can’t
tell you how to
live, but know
exactly how not
to live

 

Screaming in Space

My brother got out
of jail to serve
another sentence
with an abusive
and psychotic
girlfriend, who
started off
sweet and loving

And in January
his ankle bracelet
comes off
and he’ll be
moving back
here, back home
to the Zia

But for now,
his world
is a
lonely
black
hole—
one giant
mass of consumption,
of depression,
of hopelessness
and feelings
of uselessness,
as he screams
into space,
not
making
a sound

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